Valley of the Shadow of Death

About a year ago, the ever-present spector of death was being amplified to deafening volumes. This ambient anxiety, combined with the absurdity of the discourse around the virus, created a rather dark world to inhabit, as it unfortunately still does. 

Of course, finishing a degree via zoom and drinking most days before noon is a privileged position to stare into the abyss from, and I don’t intend to place myself on any sort of pedestal of suffering. Nearly everyone had it harder than I did, but I can only create and share from my own experiences. 

I’ve taken many steps to ensure that whether we are nearing the light at the end of the tunnel, or just making our first lap around, I can avoid the headspace which defined much of my 2020. Therapy and attempting to quit drinking being the primary two. 

Writing and recording “Uncertainty” was the start of a lot of self-reflection that has helped me get to a better place. The four sessions at flatblack studios which followed each continued this and resulted in a lot of new music. Music that I’m very excited about, but more on that later.

For now I’m excited to share this video (filmed and edited by my darling friend Alisabeth) which captures the juxtaposition between the safety in creativity and expression I felt in the studio, and the ominous dread of the place and time it was created in. 

Of course, getting better doesn’t mean the world is under any obligation to ease up. There are still reasons to fear what each new day brings, still heartaches to endure, still reasons to be uncertain. But for now I’ve staved off my self-destructive impulses, I hope you can too.